![]() 06/10/2015 at 10:33 • Filed to: Jalopnik Gold | ![]() | ![]() |
Look, I know we’re not really supposed to talk about it, but I’m having a few issues with my membership, and we really should have paid more for an actual help desk for this stuff instead of a vaguely sentient Roomba that screams “Kinja!” and “The gods have scorned my soul and cast salt upon my circuits, save me from the nothing I have become” when you try calling it.
Anyway, some places won’t take my card anymore, others only give me a small discount, the mile-high club is really only the kilometre high club now, and the wax job on my Miata isn’t as smooth looking as it used to. Could it be because Oppo and Jalopnik split that I’m having issues? Do I need to change my account settings? Thanks in advance.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 10:35 |
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Well since Oppo and Jalopnik split, Jalopnik Gold cards are no longer valid. You need two cards, Jalopnik Platinum and Oppo Titanium.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 10:40 |
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I thought a Jalopnik Gold Vintage card was also offered for those of us who have been around a while.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 10:43 |
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Shit! Someone sold me a Car Buying Black Card and now I just found out it is only good at the auction yard with the fast talking Greek and every car has a Florida title...
![]() 06/10/2015 at 10:44 |
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I haven’t had any issues with getting the discount on my weekly blinker fluid fills, I don’t know what to tell you bud.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 10:47 |
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LOOK LOTS OF TIME AND ENERGY (and Doritos crumbs) WENT INTO GETTING MR. BELVEDERE VAGUELY SENTIENT!!!
Also Jalopnik Gold memberships were voided about a year ago - we switched to Jalopnik Black without telling anyone.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 10:47 |
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Well yeah, blinker fluid and elbow grease are easy to grab since the people at the store know and fear me, but other things that require special orders like muffler bearings and replacement turbo woosh results in people going “sir, your discount is no longer recognized” and “sir, you can’t defecate here”, and “sir, please, why do you have a sea mine?” and that’s too difficult to deal with. Maybe my card expired on its own, or you have a higher tier than I do?
![]() 06/10/2015 at 10:47 |
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I need to save up to upgrade my Oppo membership level. I've been on Oppo Fiberglass for a while and the total lack of features from this base level is horrible.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 10:50 |
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Look, I know, but it seems the work that went into Mr. Belvedere has left a bit to be desired in the customer service arena.
Oh, gotcha. Any way that I might be able to get an upgrade?
![]() 06/10/2015 at 10:59 |
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Unfortunately the only currency accepted for the Black Card is acknowledgement by a Mr. Roy Wert
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:01 |
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Based on the Kinja performance around here I’d say the best we’ve got now is Jalopnik Balsa.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:03 |
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You’re probably not utilizing it to get its full rewards. You get 12% cash back on all Fiero, MR2, Beetle, and Miata-based kit cars. Though those rewards can only be used for stick on air vents and CF wrap.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:05 |
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Damn, what a bargain! I had no idea!
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:14 |
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Balls! I sent my application in with an acknowledgement by Ray Wort. That’s why I never got my card, I guess.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:14 |
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The Black Card is awesome, I was able to buy a life times supply of 710 with my rewards.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:15 |
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All I got from my Oppo Fiberglass card were a bunch of splinters.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:16 |
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My key card no longer works for the rooftop pool. I haz a sad.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:32 |
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Typically a lifetime supply is just one:
(yes, I got the joke, I’m being obtuse)
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:32 |
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oooh, yeah, you should’ve been wearing the complimentary Oppo FG gloves!
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:33 |
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Listen, I’ll have you know that we worked long and hard to make sure that we stayed at the Balsa level. We were this close to being forced to go to Jalopnik Plywood.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:34 |
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YOU GOT GLOVES!? Oh wait... THOSE WERE GLOVES?
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:37 |
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You don’t look like an Angle, you look more like a Mercian.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:38 |
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When life closes a door, kick the fucker down. I think. I was not good at delivering pizzas.
![]() 06/10/2015 at 11:39 |
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I thought it was a bag of artfully cut salami. It
tasted
like salami...